NEW UKIP LEADER SHACKS UP WITH ROCK BITCH AND TWITTER "SLAG"

When Henry Bolton  unexpectedly became UKIP leader in September, he was touted as the "acceptable and respectable face" of UKIP. This was especially the case, as he ran against popular grassroots candidate and lesbian Anne Marie Waters, who ran on a strong anti Muslim ticket.

"Acceptable" in this case simply meant being a bland civic nationalist cuck candidate who stood for nothing except Brexit and was unwilling to recognise the the problem of Islamisation let along deal with it. 

In fact, it could be said that there is nothing to distinguish Bolton from most of the people in the present day Conservative Party, except that he's probably a little weaker on immigration, favouring mass immigration from former British colonies to make up for the shortage of EU cheap labour.

Phewkip!

But while he is a political cuck, it appears that Bolton makes up for it by being a sex-crazed chad, marrying and dumping three wives and then shacking up with a woman younger than his own daughter. 

The only problem here is that this blows his only selling point -- his dull, fusty, ex-army officer respectability -- clear out of the water.

Not only has the 54-year-old politician been married three times instead of two, as previously claimed, but it has been revealed that he dumped his latest wife, whom he only married in 2011, over Christmas for 24-year-old Jo Marney, a woman with her own chequered past, as revealed by her social media accounts, like Twitter.

As reported in scummy clickbait free newspaper, the Metro:

"The leader of UKIP has revealed that he has left his 42-year-old wife for a model aged just 25. Henry Bolton, 54, who took over from Paul Nuttall last September, admitted to starting a relationship with Jo Marney, a party member from Kent. Miss Marney, who is a model, actor and journalist, and Mr Bolton had reportedly spent a lot of time together over Christmas and had even posted pictures of themselves on social media. In one picture, Mr Bolton’s arms was around her on December 16, with the caption: ‘Fantastic Xmas dinner with our leader Henry Bolton’."

Marnie it appears as well known on the rock circuit as a "groupie," and thus can be considered a veteran of the "cock carousel." 

Rocker Nigel Mogg, formerly of the Quireboys, described her to the Daily Mail newspaper as an "opportunist obsessed with being around famous people." Journalists trawling social media have also found pictures of her with rock stars like Tom Jones and Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour, with whose cousin she claimed to have had a relationship. 

Ms. Marney "in the pink" with David Gilmour.

As for Bolton, his first wife was Karin Dohn, a Danish woman he met while serving in the British army in Germany. His second wife was Lidia Gouniakova, a Russian hairdresser and -- given the media hysteria that surrounds anyone meeting Russians these days -- a possible spy. His latest wife is another Slav, Tatiana Smurova.  

Based on these previous romantic choices, it seems that shacking up with his new British-born love interest is the most patriotic thing that Bolton has done yet, even if she appears to be a slapper who has been around the block a few times.

Bolton: civic nationalist cuck in public, chad in private.

FRANKEN MAKES BID FOR SAINTHOOD WITH ASS-GRABBING RESIGNATION SPEECH

The laying on of hands.

In a move designed to increase pressure on Roy Moore, the Republican Senate candidate leading the polls in Alabama, Al Franken, the Democrat Senator for Minnesota, has resigned. 

Both men face a number of allegations of sexual misconduct, all of which are unproved claims by various women or anonymous sources, and which, in the case of Moore, go back 40 years. In fact the only clear piece of evidence in either case is a now famous photograph of Franken in a "boob grab" pose with a sleeping woman, clearly meant as a joke.

However, it is hoped in Democrat circles that Franken's resignation in the face of these allegations will give the equally unproved allegations against Moore extra weight in the days before the Senate vote in Alabama and lead to a Democrat victory. Meanwhile, Franken is almost certain to be replaced as Minnesota Senator by another Democrat, meaning that the Democrats could gain a Senate seat from playing the two scandals in this way.

But, although Franken's resignation can only be read as an admission of his guilt, his resignation speech presented a quite a different picture -- one of almost saintly innocence, in which he was the victim: 

"Over the last few weeks, a number of women have come forward to talk about how they felt my actions had affected them. I was shocked. I was upset."

Poor guy! Far from admitting to being a pervert and an ugly motherfucker who forced himself on women -- including tongues -- Franken implied that he was only in this position because of his extreme deference to all women:

"Because all women deserve to be heard and their experiences taken seriously. I think that was the right thing to do. I also think it gave some people the false impression that I was admitting to doing things that in fact I haven't done. Some of the allegations against me are simply not true. Others I remember very differently. I said at the outset that the ethics committee was the right venue for these allegations to be heard and investigated and evaluated on their merits. That I was prepared to cooperate fully and that I was confident in the outcome."

He then used his butt-grabbing resignation speech to present himself as the greatest champion of women in the World, ever:

"I am proud that during my time in the Senate, I have used my power to be a champion of women. And that I have earned a reputation as someone who respects the women I work alongside every day."

In fact, the only reason he was resigning, he claimed, was because all the "lies" about him made it difficult to give all his energy to his day-to-day job of walking on water, curing the lame, and giving sight to the blind.

"Let me be clear. I may be resigning my seat, but I am not giving up my voice. I will continue to stand up for the things I believe in as a citizen and as an activist. But Minnesotans deserve a senator who can focus with all her energy on addressing the challenges they face every day."

Oddly for a Democrat, he then ended his speech by claiming that Minnesotans are a special master race as high above normal humans as a god is above insects:

"When I'm home, I am blown away by how much Minnesota has to offer the entire country and the entire world. The people I had the honor of representing are brilliant and creative and hardworking and whoever holds this seat next will inherit the challenge I have enjoyed for the last 8.5 years being as good as the people you serve."